Dirty talk might seem odd at first when you rummage through your mind for the right dirty words to say to your girlfriend. Relax a little—talking dirty isn’t an absolute science, and how you navigate it depends more on how relaxed you are than how much you do. Here’s how to talk dirty during sex, as well as some sexy stuff to say to your partner outside of the bedroom to increase the level of arousal.
How to chat dirty with self-assurance: 1. Take things slowly.
Allow yourself the freedom to move at your own speed. If you’re not ready for some face-to-face play yet, texting your dreams could be a safer option. You’re not on anyone’s timetable but your own to learn how to dirty talk. (If you’re interested, here’s our complete sexting guide.)
2. Don’t give it too much thought.
It doesn’t have to be very inventive, but it can make you and your partner feel happy. Shan Boodram, a sexologist and K-sexuality Y’s trainer, tells mbg that “good sex is meant to be liberating and explorative.” It’s important that the dirty things you say to your partner sound normal and flow with the situation.
3. Have a good time.
Allow dirty talk to enhance rather than detract from your sexual experience. The earlier you let go of the burden you put on yourself, the better it would be to explore your sexual identity. You will assist your companion in navigating your physical space. It could also lead to more satisfying sex for all parties involved.
4. Stay away from details.
You don’t have to mention your partner’s cup size or girth when describing the moment for them. “I love your body,” for example, will start the conversation. If you want to add a few adjectives, general terms like “fat,” “massive,” and “wet” fit great.
5. Make yourself at ease with your mate.
What you’re prepared to try sexually has much to do with how comfortable you are with your relationship. “Talking with your partner(s) ahead of time about your pleasure in dirty talk can be a perfect way to relieve tension when you’re really in the moment,” says Kamil Lewis, AMFT, a sex and relationships therapist. Communicate, investigate, and communicate again.
6. Don’t pass judgment.
Learning how to talk dirty will help your friendship blossom with a deeper sense of intimacy. “Dirty talking isn’t about being crude, vulgar, or disgusting,” Boodram clarifies. “It’s just a question of whether it makes you feel sticky.” The degree to which you become sexually attracted after hearing a word determines if it is dirty. Rather than crushing someone’s erotic fantasy, be the one who champions it.
Stuff to tell during sex that aren’t acceptable.
To create a sense of anticipation:
Right now, I’m so wet/hard.
I’m not wearing any underwear.
I’m dripping with sweat.
I need you to feel like you’re working against me.
Your lips must be on my skin.
Only wait before we arrive at our destination.
I’d like your mouth to be on me.
I’d like you to screw me behind my back.
I’d like to see you inside of me.
I’d like to see you have more fun enjoying yourself.
I’d like for you to undress me.
I’d like to see you between my legs.
I’d like to take a bite out of you.
I’d like to put your dick in my mouth.
In the present moment:
Please take my hand.
Caress me from head to toe.
Come and get me.
Kiss my genitalia.
I’m going to choke.
Grasp my a**.
It was as easy as that.
That’s right there.
Pull on my tresses.
Take a bite out of me.
Take a look at me.
Please contact me.
Please say my name.
In my ear, whisper.
Don’t give up.
Make a groan for me.
Stroke my cock with your hand.
Make fun of my clit.
Come on over here.
If you like it?
Awards and honors:
You make me feel so comfortable inside.
That’s something you’re very good at.
Your cock/pussy is sensational.
I admire your physique.
I really like it when you clench your jaws.
When you whisper in my ear, I love it.
When you contact me there, I love it.
I just like the way you whine.
I admire your sense of taste.
Classics in a single word:
It’s getting tougher.
Slower is the term.
Faster is better.
More in depth.
Please don’t do that.
Get it louder.
To sum it up:
I admire how hard you would make me work to get here.
Your tongue has a magical power.
That was fantastic.
If you want to come back?
Stuff to say to your girlfriend that are sexy.
Dirty talk isn’t enough for the bedroom any more. Here are few ideas for filthy things to say to your girlfriend to keep the sexual tension in your relationship going.
I keep picturing your body rubbing up against mine.
I really can’t seem to get you out of my mind.
Remember how we [insert sexual activity] last night? Wow, that was incredible.
What was your dream sex position?
Your [insert body part] is sorely missed by my body.
I feel compelled to touch myself when I think about you.
Plans for the future:
I’m going to [insert sexual activity] when you get here.
When we [insert sexual activity], I really enjoyed it. Let’s give it another shot.
I’m so excited to fuck you tonight.
All day, I’ve been dreaming about [fill in the blank], and I can’t wait for us to [fill in the blank].
What about doing [insert sexual activity] the next time we’re in bed together?
I’ve been looking forward to all day lying on your face.
I hear you’ve had a busy day. That’s why, when you get married, I’m going to [insert sexual activity].
I’m so into what you do with your [insert body part].
When you [fill in the blank], it makes me horny.
You’re always on my mind.
I’m desperate for you.
You seem to be healthy enough to eat today.
When you moan, you make me so wet/hard.
On the phone, here’s how to talk dirty.
Here are few dirty stuff to say when you’re cyber connecting with someone, whether you’re having phone sex for the first time or you’re in a long-distance relationship. Make these expressions unique to your friendship and to the vocabulary you and your wife currently use. Keep in mind that one couple’s vanilla is another’s kink.
I wish I could be there.
I wish I could have you in my arms right now.
I miss the way you make me smile inside.
The way you taste is something I lack.
I miss the way your [insert body part] sounds against my [insert body part] when you [insert verb].
I’m going to [insert sexual activity] when I get there.
I can’t wait to pounce on you once more.
When I see you, I’m going to fuck you too hard.
When I see you, I’m going to tear your pants off.
In a good mood:
I’m getting so wet/hard thinking about you right now.
Right now, I’d like to see you nude.
Hearing your voice makes me want to reach out and touch myself.
When you talk like that, I really enjoy it.
Tell me exactly what you intend to happen to me.
I’d like to get a sense of how wet/hard you are.
For my sake, play by yourself.
Dirty words are whispered to me.
Tell me what you’re looking for from me.
Playtime questions include:
What are you currently wearing?
Are you rubbing your hands together?
Do you want to have sex over FaceTime?
Are you on your own?
If you hate being in my body?
When I do that to you, what else do you like?
Do you want to come and listen to me?
Want to show me what you’re talking about with the way you’re sexting me?
I’m rubbing my hands together. Do you want to try something?
When it comes to talking dirty, the level of confidence you have with yourself and with your partner is important. You already know what to say during sex, before sex, and after sex—all that’s left for you to do is go for it.
Do you want to make a difference in the world with your love for wellness? Become a Coach in Functional Nutrition! Enter our forthcoming live office hours by enrolling today.